Greetings from the mountain top…
The guru two mountains over stopped by recently to discuss current events. As usual, we spent more time laughing than discussing mainly because the less time we spend in the lands down below the more absurd (or is that entertaining?) the show becomes.
We humans think we have progressed so far–Electricity, space flight, artificial hearts, two million cable channels, a black president, smart phones, nanobots, Jersey Shore, and more. We are the epitome of evolution and a legend in our own minds. Why, with our superior minds and opposable thumbs, there is nothing we cannot do, no obstacle we can’t overcome, no advance we cannot make. We’re king of the world!
As we head to the backstretch of 2012 I call to your attention the tiniest sampling of headlines from this year:
Minnesota Lawmaker in Rest Stop Sex Scandal with Teen Boys Changes Mind, Drops Re-election Bid
Air Force Relieves Commander Over Sex Scandal
Secret Service Agents Fired in Sex Scandal
Anthony Weiner Sexting Scandal
Allison Meyers; the RNC Young Donor Director Fired Over a Bondage Club Scandal
Before you shake your head at the downfall of modern man, realize that sex has never been defeated at any point in history.
Anyone remember a couple named Adam and Eve? What about Julius Caesar and Cleopatra? An obsessed freak named King Henry VIII? How about Benjamin Franklin, connoisseur extraordinaire of whores? Thomas Jefferson and his love toy (and slave) Sally Jennings? Our only gay president, James Buchanan (I shit you not)?, The Victoria’s Secret of his time, J. Edgar Hoover? Warren Harding who had a fifteen year affair with the wife of a close friend? You get the point.
No matter how far we progress, how intelligent we become, how advanced our brains, we are–and shall remain–animals subject to our base drives, our instinctual urges, and the need to get our freak on.
YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE! Undefeated throughout history. Stronger than any human. Ladies and gentleman, I introduce to you the first, the only, undefeated, undisputed true champion of the universe…SEX.
Peace out ya fornicating freaks