Greetings from the mountain top…
Perusing a newspaper the guru two mountains over dropped off during one of his recent visits, The Guru came across an article that made him spew mountain goat tea all over the breasts of a lovely 20-something, wanna-be hippie chick (from Durango).
It seems that a Las Vegas casino mistakenly used a series of unshuffled decks in a game of mini baccarat (not to be confused with Burt Bacharach–oh, fucking forget it you diaper-wearing children who know nothing about good music or good martinis ) and a group of savvy Chinese gamblers noticed the mistake, increased their bets significantly, and took in over $1.5 million in winnings.
The news? The casino filed suit against the gamblers claiming they had unfairly taken advantage. The bigger news? The gamblers counter-sued that the casino was discriminating because they were Asian.
Let’s see. A casino doesn’t like odds being stacked against them. Chinese gamblers winning millions don’t like the stereotype that they’re good at math (even though they did notice the recurring card patterns which resulted in the increased wagers).
In other surprising news, strippers were shocked to learn that men frequent their clubs to look at tits and not hear them pontificate on economic theory, evicted renters were flabbergasted that they could be kicked out of their home for failing to pay rent, a smoker was horrified to learn that cigarettes are bad for his health, the Catholic church was beside itself to learn the public didn’t approve of priests diddling little boys, and movie goers were floored to learn that concessions cost a shit load of money even if the movie totally sucks.
Peace out ya surprised freaks