Greetings from the mountain top…
The guru two mountains over brought me a newspaper yesterday and, as I do with most antiques, I spent a considerable amount of time examining this odd, archaic device.
One article caught my attention, however, and it made me wonder if the Mayans might be right after all. The end may be near dear students.
A high school valedictorian in Oklahoma (No jokes about the South, please. Stupid has no geographic boundaries) has been denied her diploma after using the word ‘hell’ instead of ‘heck’ in her graduation speech.
What was it my English teacher drilled into my dense brain so many years ago? ALWAYS find the perfect word. Well, ‘hell’, there are times when ‘heck’ just doesn’t cut it.
Beyond that, can we please get past the language barrier? Let’s all say words below until they no longer have an effect, then let’s all agree to grow the ‘hell’ up and never use any of them again. When we finally evolve beyond our adolescence as a species and stop being titillated over minutiae like a group of third grade boys who caught glimpse of a bra then we can finally start having adult discussions about adult issues and stop getting our collective panties in a wad (do thongs wad?).
So, children, channel your inner Lenny Bruce (look it up, The Guru ain’t a history teacher) and say the following words with me, repeatedly, until you are never again affected:
shit, fuck, crap, damn, son-of-a-bitch, cunt, mother fucker, cock, pussy, cock sucker, slut, skank, whore, piss, tits, bastard
What the ‘hell’, Mr. Principal? Give the girl her diploma. She’s already learned the perfect lesson; namely, that life is full of fucking idiots at every level.
Peace out ya cussing freaks