Greetings from the mountain top…

The Guru is, 99.99% of the time, a calm, considerate, erudite, man of peace but I swear to all that is holy if I hear one more politician, sports figure, corporate-executive, or even the guru two mountains over misuse the phrase ‘I misspoke’ I’m going climb down from the boulder on which I have perched for eons and whip some serious ass.

I shit you not.

‘Misspeaking’ is when you say ‘yes’ when you meant ‘no’, or ‘left’ when you meant…you get the idea.

I’m so sick of watching individuals speak for 20 minutes, or write an editorial piece, or do an hour-long interview then later use the phrase ‘misspoke’ as if they were in a Catholic confessional and absolution was guaranteed. When the PR people tell you that you fucked up, the phrase ‘I misspoke’ does not absolve you from responsibility, bucko. It just makes you look like the gummy-worm you are.

One of my gurus, a man named Eddy about whom I’ve written, couldn’t spell PC but he sure as hell knew how to drive a point home. He had a favorite phrase and, were he still living on this plane of existence, I know he’d use if confronted with some of these mealy-mouthed, spineless ignoramuses:

“Son…the next time you feel yourself about to go full-blown retard–STOP.”

Peace out ya misspeaking freaks

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