Greetings from the mountain top…
Reading the news today The Guru couldn’t help but notice the number of individuals apologizing: a college athlete for getting booted from the team after doing drugs (repeatedly), Olympic athletes for breaking various rule, politicians for forgetting that the zipper on their pants was designed for urination not copulation, teachers for diddling their students, advisors for understandably forgetting that depositing your clients cash into your own account isn’t allowed, and so much more.
All followed, of course, by the apology.
We have become a world adept at the apology.
Key ingredients to The Apology:
1) It must be well-worded (so that it is sincere, of course)
2) The apologizer must be somber-faced (we really, REALLY mean it…by the way, when you have to use the word REALLY it really means that you really fucked up and you really don’t expect us to really believe it. Really.)
3) One must be surrounded by loved ones (who all have buckets nearby in case they need to barf) and supporters all shaking their heads up and down so we understand we’re supposed to accept this heart-felt, I’m so, so sorry apology and allow the wrongdoer to return to their normally-scheduled life.
Here’s an alternative idea to the apology and I’m just spit balling, mind you: DON’T DO STUPID SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Peace out ya apologetic freaks