Greetings from the mountain top…

Much wisdom can be found in the mouth of babes, and The Guru does have a fondness for exploring babes for wisdom.

A 20-something, wanna-be hippie chick surprisingly not from Boulder (Nederland, but close enough) was engaged in a deep conversation recently with another nymph and what she had to say was insightful. Even more surprising was the fact that she was stone-cold sober as this chicklette is usually only insightful when in an altered state of consciousness.

“So what is it with dudes?”, she began. “They want you to be a total virgin, but if they think you are they spend all of their time trying to get you to be slutty…but if they know off the bat that you’ve bounced uglies with more than a few fellas they want to spend all of their time trying to save you and make you virginal. I mean, WTF, ya know?”

Such truth from one so young.

There comes a time in dating where the inevitable point of disclosure approaches–how many lovers have you had and what have you done with those lovers?

Listen to The Guru children and listen carefully. NEVER tell the unvarnished truth. Ever. Don’t lie. Only Presidents, presidents-to-be, union chiefs, bankers, 16-year-olds caught taking their mother’s Valium, and CEO’s should lie and only then because it against their genetic makeup to tell the truth.

Truth with the number of past lovers can only result in the virginal or slut path and both are dead ends for a relationship. The only time to be specific with numbers, activities, perversions, and such is if you are a true virgin and even then unless your name is Timothy Tebow (who, by the way, has accomplished more with his professed virginity than Brooke Shields mother could ever have dreamed when she signed up her child for the movie Pretty Baby) you should probably avoid the question. A simple answer is: I’ve had enough to know what I’m doing, but not enough to know it all.

When someone wants to know the truth of your sexual experience it is only because they need to feel reassured or threatened–neither a healthy outcome for a good relationship.

Take the fifth, drink a fifth, or hit fifth gear and get out of the relationship but NEVER disclose reality. If all else fails, just pretend you’re running for president and proudly state “I choose to not disclose.”

Peace out ya non-disclosing freaks

1 Comment

Filed under Dating, Philosophy, Sexuality


  1. If it’s a regular relationship, then I agree you shouldn’t disclose. But if the relationship has evolved into something special and meaningful, both partners should have the trust and bond to be comfortable saying and hearing the truth.

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