Greetings from the mountain top…

A female student recently wrote The Guru to ask a well-crafted, carefully pondered, deeply-considered, thoughtful question: Why the fuck are men so clueless about seduction?

The Guru has lived many lifetimes and, in each lifetime, learned more about the beautiful creation called woman. In some of our next teachings he shall share with his male students (of which The Guru has few…unless, of course, they have a gorgeous open-minded girlfriend, a hot sister, or access to premo-ganja) things he knows to be true about the science and art of dating and seduction.

Today’s Lesson: Speed kills–so slow the fuck down.

Men–nothing will lose the attention of a woman faster than falling over your cock as you chase after her.

Women need to be seduced, and nothing is more effective than a slow, patient, make-her-unsure-where-you-are-going approach (well, good wine or weed combined with Barry White and a two-headed, oscillating…but I digress). Let her know you’re interested, but not that you’re sold. Tease her. Slowly. And by slowly The Guru doesn’t mean 2-3 minutes. Tease her over days and weeks. With words, or looks, or jokes, or innuendo, intelligence, or touches. Be creative as there is no limit to the manner in which you may tease a woman, but the secret is to never let her know exactly what is to come next. Until she is ready.

Women experience seduction in their mind and nothing captures her mind (followed by her body) more than anticipating what is to come next or trying to figure out exactly who you are and what you truly want.

Whether it comes to asking her for a date, bringing her to orgasm, or getting her to do some nasty-kinky-crazy-you’re truly a sick fuck thing in bed the key is to slow down. A comedian correctly observed once that men are rocket engines, but women are diesel. It takes them a long time to get started, but once they do they can run all night.

Peace out ya impatient freaks

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