PONDERING GREAT BOOKS THAT HAVEN’T BEEN WRITTEN

Greetings from the mountain top…

The Guru, in addition to being a man among men, a sage among sages, and a legend in his own mind is also quite literate. He ponders, he reads, occasionally he reads while pondering.

A great opening sets the tone for a wonderful work of fiction and, for many, are as memorable as the work itself. Who can forget such classics as: “Who is John Galt?”, “It was the best of times it was the worst of times.”, “Call me Ishmael.”, “I am a sick man…I am a spiteful man.”, and “It was a pleasure to burn.”?

One recent night the 20-something, wanna-be hippie chicks from Boulder sat in the circle of truth (not to be confused with a circle jerk) and as the herb of Mother Earth overtook them (followed closely behind by the removing of clothing and the pressing of lips on…but I digress) we began an interesting game of creation.

Great opening lines to books never written:

“There I was naked, in front of the refrigerator, a cigar in one hand and a pot roast in the other.”

“She said we needed to see other people, but I didn’t think she meant the entire football team. Then again, Tammy always was an over-achiever.”

“Raheem failed to understand many things about America, especially the concept of reserved airline seating. His fury boiling over, he stood up and screamed ‘Damn you all with your smug attitudes and window seats.'”

“I always heard that your life flashed before your eyes just before you died. Imagine my disappointment when, as the bus impacted my body in the middle of the street, all I could think about was Dr. Pepper and Sweet Tarts.”

“There I was in the hotel room, lying naked. An empty bottle of Jack Daniels discarded next to a midget, a monkey, two dozen condom wrappers, and Portuguese hooker named Juanita. That’s when things began to get weird.”

What about you, dear student? What great opening line might you have?

Peace out ya literary freaks

2 Comments

Filed under Current Events, Philosophy

2 responses to “PONDERING GREAT BOOKS THAT HAVEN’T BEEN WRITTEN

  1. judy

    As Dora Dirge was on her way to meet her best friend, Bertha Brillheart, at the automat for lunch, her netted hat flew off her head from a gust of wind by a passing bus.

  2. yourothermotherhere

    I’ve read THE Mountain Top Guru. ‘nough said.

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