Greetings from the mountain top…

The guru two mountains over stopped by this morning for a piping hot cup of mountain goat tea.  The Guru has long since lost the ability to taste, but from the gagging and retching of this regular visitor I am certain the foul concoction hasn’t lost it’s horrid flavoring or odor.  It does, however, work wonders on the libido as the 20-something, wanna-be hippie chicks from Boulder learned the other night when (after the fifth coupling) The Guru decided it was time to put them all in a circle facing outward with one hand on their…but I digress.

My friend spoke at length about a phenomenon that has grown exponentially with the advent of the internet.  This incorrect way of viewing the world has always existed, but cyberspace has greatly exacerbated it’s power for harm and ability to destroy relationships before they even begin.

I speak of the ITYTWIT syndrome.  ITYTWIT–pronounced just how it looks It E Twit.

I Think YOU Think What I Think.  ITYTWIT.

We all have opinions, but being able to express opinions in complete anonymity without the benefit of face-to-face feedback (a slap in the face, a punch in the face, a drink in the…you get the point) it’s very easy to become comfortable and smug with our opinions and forget one important fact: You might just be wrong.

If “I” THINK something, and have no mechanism in place for it to be challenged (i.e. the internet) it’s easy to assume I’m always correct.  Lindsey Lohan and Lebron James experience this daily, although through a mechanism called sycophants (look it up, The Guru isn’t a vocabulary teacher) but the internet works the same way.  Since “I” will react in a particular fashion and “I” assume “I” am correct, when “you” do not act accordingly something must be wrong with “you”.  And the relationship is over often before it even begins.  Or I know “you” to be an idiot boss, coworker, underling, date, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc., etc., et freaking cetera.

ITYTWIT.  It’s been responsible for more failed relationships, dates that didn’t work out, and wanna-be hippie chicks running half nude down the mountain top after The Guru suggested she bend over and…but I digress.

I Think YOU Think What I Think.  This is a very Western phenomenon although it is spreading worldwide thanks to the web.  Because I think it it must be so.  One advantage of the hippie chicks from Boulder puppy-piled in the man cave is they rarely think so The Guru tends to forget that the rest of the world is slowly drowning in their own thoughts oblivious to the self-created chain they are building every day.

The solution?

Brace yourself because it’s a painful answer.  Shut the fuck up and truly listen to the other person. Ask questions. Seek clarity. And gain some fucking humility that PERHAPS what YOU think is WRONG.

I know, I know, I know…it’s the age of the internet, political fucking correctness (started by Trotsky, fyi, to eliminate dissenters during the communist revolution…the same guy who invented the term racist and assorted other concepts to prevent individual thought, discussion, and debate) and soccer teams all getting a trophy for simply for showing up with their snotty little noses and sagging pants…every opinion is a valid opinion and no one opinion is worth more than another.  PULEAZE.  Just writing that made The Guru throw up a little in his enlightened mouth.

How many times has ITYTWIT cost you ‘the one’ in dating?  You may never know.  But I’m pretty certain you’ve lost at least one relationship with a truly decent person by pre-judging their answer from your particular, limited set of filters.  And just like the 20-something who ran screaming from the man cave you will never know what joys, pleasures, love, or extremes of ecstasy you might have missed out on because you lack humility.

Little league soccer, Trotsky, the politically correct, and dating.  Who knew they were all interconnected?  The Guru.  Then again, The Guru knows all…except what he doesn’t know.

Peace out ya humility lacking freaks

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