Greetings from the mountain top…

A few nights ago some of the 20-something, wanna-be hippie chicks from Boulder came over for movie night ( wonderful tradition where they bring over the latest impossible-to-follow artsy fartsy crap film and pretend to understand it while I slowly remove what little clothing they wear leading to a point where they are all naked and I….but I digress).  One of my followers, we shall call her Candy (not to be confused with my favorite stripper of the same name who can move both of her tits…again, I digress) didn’t exactly do her artsy fartsy homework and pulled the movie Unforgiven off of the shelf.

In defense of she who shall be called Candy, she was trying to be sexy…assuming it was about a wife or husband who did some naughty deed and got caught (she has a serious Daddy complex and enjoys seeing other girls get ‘caught’ in the deed).  Her surprise, and my delight, came when Clint Eastwood’s mug drifted across the screen for the start of a western.  “Who’s the ancient dude, Guru dude?” one of the wanna-be hippie chicks asked.  The Guru ignored the comment and, for a change, the nubile, barely-clothed, hippie chick bodies, and watched the movie…welcoming  one flick he could actually follow.

If you’re not familiar with the premise of Unforgiven, it involves an aging, retired gunfighter who comes to rescue the honor of a whore who was injured by a cowboy. But the movie left The Guru pondering…why are whores held is such disrepute in modern times when, not very long ago, they were tolerated and given their own part of town (red light district anyone?) The Netherlands, Brazil, Nevada, and most of the rest of the civilized, non-sexually repressed world notwithstanding?

Why is it illegal, much less socially unacceptable, to sell pooty tan to willing consumers?  Strippers (excuse me, exotic dancers), Hooters girls (all rights reserved) and reality TV show “stars” all whore themselves out on one level or another with little to no social stigma so why not those who cut to the chase and offer it up on a platter (no reference to Hooters implied or inferred)?

Of course were whoring to become legal the list of craig would probably go out of business along with many dating sites, the online porn industry, and the makers of Viagra, but wouldn’t we all be just a bit happier if getting fucked wasn’t such an arduous process?  How many hearts would never be  broken, how many marriages saved, how many college girls not deflowered, and how many Gurus wouldn’t have to watch artsy fartsy films just to get laid if only the oldest profession in the world (except for being a Guru) were legal and accepted instead of ignored and subsidized primarily by corporate executives, bachelor parties, trust-funded college boys, professional athletes, politicians, and musicians?

The Guru was sadly unattended to after Unforgiven, the hippie chicks were thoroughly confused as to the artistic significance of Candy’s pick, but at least Clint got his money and the whore had her honor restored.

God Bless America.

Peace out ya freaks


Filed under Philosophy, Sexuality

5 responses to “PONDERING WHORES

  1. judy

    You forgot how many crimes might not be committed. Those will argue that rape is about control and not sex, but where did that twisted sense of wanting to be in control originate? Probably from sexual frustration if one is not an attractive or a witty person to begin with and cannot manage to procure the attention of a female, unless they take it. Just a thought, Guru Guy.

    • Just a thought, Judy Gal, but a good one indeed. Just about every country has legalized, regulated, and taxed prostitution. Of course, prostitution is the one business where women earn more than men so of course it must be outlawed. Can’t have the women-folk earning more heaven forbid.

      • judy

        If we all refused to believe in organized religion, a lot of the world’s woes would also disappear with it. I do not believe for one second that crime would rise because the prisons are full of believers. It would simply give people the freedom to choose for themselves how they wish to conduct themselves in their own homes with consenting adults. Legalize pot while you’re at it, too. Then everyone would be home getting stoned and fucking to their heart’s content. Quelle domage!

  2. yourothermotherhere

    According to TheFreeDictionary, we are all whores.

    3. A person considered as having compromised principles for personal gain.

    The reason it isn’t legal worldwide is because after you get paid for sex, they want you to do the housework and raising kids as a free bonus. If you’re a whore, after your shift is done so to speak, you can leave. If you’re a housewife you can’t just pickup and go. Being a whore is just a more honest label, but until women are truly equal whores will have the name tag “Wife” over the label. But of course, that will happen right after healthcare for everyone and nuclear disarmament.

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