PONDERING THE SPEED OF RELATIONSHIPS

Greetings from the mountain top…

One of my 20-something, wanna-be hippie chick followers from Boulder managed to break free from her pot-induced stupor today long enough to ask a question.  That, unto itself, would be worth a few words.

On a side note, The Guru finds it amusing at how his trust fund groupies work so assiduously to appear impoverished wearing micro shorts with holes, putting their hair in dreadlocks, and forgoing the shaving of the pits.  His saggy buttocks chapped from clinching onto the boulder so as to avoid tumbling in to a ravine, his robe frayed and graying, and his platinum Visa card maxed out The Guru understands poverty.  Of course, empathizing with the plight of little one who believes being forced to drink store brand coffee instead of Starbucks is,  indeed, suffering does have the upside of groupies removing their clothing in appreciation–so The Guru is not without understanding.  Or sense.  Yes, baby, you are suffering so much.  How terrible. Let The Guru make it all better…remove those pretty thong panties and…but I digress.

Her question was a simple one.  “Guru dude, how can you teach about relationships when you sit in isolation away from relationships?”  The Guru looked at her, took a hit off of her offering, and smiled.

Being isolated is not being alone, being without a relationship is not being without knowledge. Of this life, or the next.  And, of course, there are always reruns of Oprah, 30 Something, and The View.  The Guru has knowledge on a level his little worshiper cannot begin to understand which is probably a very good thing for The Guru’s sex life.

The guru two mountains over commented yesterday as we shared time over mountain goat tea (don’t ask…the life of a guru isn’t as glamorous as it sounds…well, aside from the young groupies, free drugs, no bills, and a tax-free exemption on all earnings and donations) about the speed with which relationships progress now.

There was a time courtship took years.  Today it takes seconds.  Entire relationships are experienced, enjoyed, and lost in days, sometimes weeks.  The Guru blames Al Gore and had the Republicans taken the position, instead of bashing gay marriage (which, by the way, all heterosexual males–especially gurus–should be for…it greatly eliminates the competition), that Mr Gore had destroyed traditional relationships by inventing the internet then the White House would have been in very different hands in perpetuity.  The internet has sped up everything, including relationships.  We shop faster, get off to porn faster (remove porn theaters?), talk faster, absorb news faster, make decisions faster, we….oh, wait…email from a reader.  Sorry…gotta run.  To be continued. Or not.

(You can follow The Guru on his blog or the thing called Twitter if so inclined.  Or you can just drop a note. The Guru answers all, but those with photographs–especially revealing ones–usually get answered faster.  It’s lonely at the top).

Peace out fellow freaks

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Filed under Philosophy, Sexuality

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